Anyways I stole the title of this post from an article I read in the Metro a while back but I thought I would write my own version as theirs was disappointing to say the least.
It is an almost undisputed fact (not alternative fact or fake news) that Lesbian Loving is the best, if you haven’t tried it I can’t recommend it highly enough but then I did get lucky!
In September 2012 we wrote a post on discovering the ‘Real L Word’ and how it opened our eyes to the gay community and how you can be gay and just a regular person (whatever that means). The post is here: http://sarahpluslaura.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/how-real-is-real-l-word.html
The post also brings up the book ‘Sexual Fluidity’ which addresses how your sexuality can shift over time. From our lives this is true in the fact that we dated men but found ultimate happiness with a woman and that brings me back to the article in the Metro.
So here’s the key points that were raised that I am not so sure about:
- A lot of the time dating women is more about friendship and community
- Girls tend to look after one another
- Sometimes it seems like a very small world
- There is no such thing as a bad date
Maybe it’s because I never dated – I just found Laura at work, but from speaking to friends you are only limited if you fish from one pond so to speak. With the world of online dating as it is, with social media and a ton of events, if you are willing to try new things the opportunities are far greater. We know couples who have moved cities and even continents to be with ‘the one’ that they met in a less traditional way.
I would like to think that girls or lesbian girls look out for one another but that is a HUGE generalisation and women are naturally bitchy, being gay doesn’t change that.
As for bad dates we have shared friends experiences of a fair few bad dates. From lack of chemistry to the person not being who they said they were to the girl being dull as ditchwater the situation did not end in a friendship as the article suggested. Regardless of a gay or straight date if it’s a bad date it’s a bad date.
Here’s the points I do agree with:
- There is a directness to communication and lack of games
- There is one thing all lesbians have in common, the need to share ‘their story’
- Girls like sharing food
- You can share clothes
- There is so much to talk about
But here is what I would add in addition:
- Dating your best friend is the best thing ever – you can confide in them over everything and they really care about your problems / challenges
- The intensity of the relationship – linked to the above the best way I can describe this is that feeling you have when you have had a great day with a friend but you don’t want it to end. You have talked non stop, laughed, spent time doing things you thoroughly enjoy and when it comes to an end you feel bereft that it is over. It’s that feeling except you don’t part ways you just continue that feeling into the next day and the next and the next if you are lucky
- You can share friends so there is no awkward it’s a ‘girls night’ or ‘i’m out with my friends’, of course it’s perfectly normal to have separate social lives but why spend time apart when sharing the experience is more fun
- The sex – nuff said
- And linked to that no surprise pregnancies or spending out on contraception – that’s a saving
- The community – the fact that you have women around you who get you. In fact it’s easy to find friends because you are starting from a common ground. Some of our best friends are ladies we have met online (Twitter / Instagram) and got along with because of shared interests (not just Lesbianism :))
- There are even Lesbian Tribes – just having a tribe sounds cool
- Pride – not lesbian exclusive but who doesn’t lover a rainbow coloured party
- Shared skills – so I’m not great with hair or make up but I don’t need to be as Laura is so I have my own stylist. On the other hand Laura dislikes gardening and i’m a pro. Laura cooks while I wash up. We both clean. You get the idea – in a lesbian relationship there are no roles it’s just teamwork and partnership
- We are willing to work on our relationship and be open about our challenges – linked to the non stop talking and intense friendship is the fact that all that talking means we can talk about our feelings and accept we aren’t perfect. A while back we even did a Love Languages test to find out how we could understand each other better: the post is here complete with a test if you want to try. Something our straight friends have struggled to get their other halves to do
- Watching films – I mean if a chick flick comes out there is no question we are watching it
Ah damn it my battery is dying so I will leave it there for now but you get the idea – Lesbian Loving is the best. I couldn’t be happier with Laura or more grateful for the gay ladies that we have been fortunate to meet and call friends – to think if we weren’t lady loving ladies we may never have met.